I drafted the below on February 6th of 2011. Never published.
Ok, fine. I will write the title of this post and come what may, Lord.
I just want some relief from those three words.
What is it that I have lost and found?
Or perhaps in this season,
it's more like a counter-clockwise motion
around the mystery of these contrary terms.
Either way, I feel like I'm spinning.
Yes, I lost my job.
Yes, I lost my only uncle.
Yes, within weeks, I lost my only aunt.
What have I yet to find?
Lord, make me your Miriam; leading the praise for the captives of time.
FAST FORWARD to today when I find this in my drafts.
I see that last sentence of prayer being answered, undoubtedly.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Today, I spent some time strolling through the book store looking... Actually, I'm not sure what I was doing. OH! I was going to get inspired, bc if I don't do that, well. Well, then I wilt!
I found a great "how to" on jewelry making. That's my next project. Spent many minutes pouring over how darn creative one can get with wire and some pliers and a rock tumbler.
Me! Yes, over here. I'm in. I'll do it.
Did I mention I luv rocks? I even know that we LIVE on a big giant rock?
Pick me for this awesome jewelry making talent, God!!
So this is what else I found in the arts/crafties section:
I sat down for a while, just me and that wreck of a journal.
It's a bossy little thing, that book.
It's mostly intended for people that realize they might be leaning a bit too far in the perfectionist camp and need a way out. FAST!
But I also think it's for people that just wanna have fun, oh girls just wanna have.
Come to think of it, that video is a perfect illustration. Wait, right there! Please. (eyelashes bat)
A few things about this awes video!
a) wouldn't it be great to be the kid on that Corn Flake box
(is it punky brews ya'll??),
bc NOW you're in a Cyndi video. BAM!
b) I want to be Cyndi in that dance intro/skip scene.
She is the cutest pipsy of a girl, dontcha think?
Ok, so about that book.
Isn't it great when you are reminded of exactly who God created you to be?
Well that's what happened. There are all sorts of zany exercises in this book that are created to loosen even the tightest of behinds up.
And that's when it hit me. THAT's what I'm looking for.
A man that could get into that!
A man that can lead with pizazz.
One in touch with his MANNESS and not the meow of his ego.
(sorry guys if we've ever caused you to feel defeated, but dust those britches off!)
I know you're out there. Maybe there's even more than one of ya.
You know how I know?
Because God created me!
So here's my new thing.
(that's with a cap B bc you deserve respect)
If you want to court this luvly, you'll have to pass the litmus test of this journal
or you just might not get a second date.
If I hand it to you and you stick it in a drawer, you're out!
If I hand it to you and you get all googly-eyed and are like
this is the neatest invention since fresh cow's milk,
I'll be all like...when do we start the adventure!!
Cuz a little "wild swinging" never hurt nobody.
There they were on the wood-slat porch. Young mother. Infant daughter. The old, bleached boards white with sun. Hole straight through, where rot opened way and black kitten jumped for cover. There must have been a second happy mama out of sight.
I arrived at the halfway mark of the young mother's weekly two hour visit with her daughter. Mom was in a deep, crouching position, utilizing her cell phone to capture baby's new ability to sit big on her own. So much to cram into the two-hour time slot she's been given. I sense she's feeling the pressure of the stranger supervising and the strangeness of being a new mom, but without a baby to mother most days. The pictures will be her medicine until the next reunion of flesh and blood.
No toys, no carpet to crawl on, 100' temp and no one to model to this young mom what parenting might look like. This is the scene my eyes take in, time slowing as I move toward them. None of that matters, though. The one significant thing casting shadow on everything else is the Spirit of Heaven walking up to the separated luv there are on the bare planks of that porch. A picture eerily reminiscent of the Cross.
They spot my arrival. Faces light up, baby arms respond with flailing. I went from one of the EVE girls that come into the strip clubs, to full-on may as well be blood sisters in just a few weeks' time. It's been eight months and oh how I luv my new family!
Just behind where the two of them sit, a door. One that leads to a long history and yoke of pain so mighty that only a miracle can heal. Not one of those flashy counterfeits, but a real, modern day miracle of luv. And the people a knob's-turn away? Well, they are groaning along with creation for something more. I can do nothing. But Him? He can do it all. So we scoop up baby off boards and turn the knob on that other bigger board cattywampus on its loose hinges. The door, like a billboard, sending a message to the world to notice what's within. We enter and the miracle happens. We enter in. And the darkness flees.
We play, we talk, we pretend walk and we live above the anemic circumstances of poverty in the extravagant fullness of luv.
As I leave, I start to dream about the history of that old house. The grand receiving room is situated just before the central architectural element of the dining room. This structure obviously built to foster family interaction and fellowship meals. Now nothing more than a worn couch and a small TV to fill up 700' of space. I wondered what it might have looked like with fresh paint and shiny floors. Then He whispered to me, I am restoring this house in a way that moth and rust cannot destroy, dear one.