Monday, December 27, 2010

The Exhale, 5 thru 12

Joy making through thanksgiving:

5) Tough conversations and God's grace

6) Patience to wait my turn

7) The wheels turning on my car, getting me to where I need to be

8) The voice of a cherished friend

9) Donning creative threads

10) Life lessons coming into focus through His lens

11) The loud whisper of the Holy Spirit

12) My sister, Ann Voskamp

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Grace. Thanksgiving. Joy

Metal chiming the wind into audible note.

Watching community in a pack of wild dogs.

Grass giving surrender to winter's death.

 And a poem for the day.

 For I Dwell With You As An Alien 

Meandering street souls reminding us of the stitch before time.
Their eyes, portals to the Denominator's door they take us.
The Grand Artist whittled down right there in the bottomlessness of their gaze.

Beautiful, weathered feet dusting off the sediment of Earth's fall.
Steps that patter out eternal thanks,
Causing one to hunger for the dinner bell of time.
He gracefully prepares us for the underpinning of this Holy Day.

Homeless, but rarely it is a stranger they meet.
Aliens in this land of the dying.
Sojourners, pioneers, billboards of a place with no time and space.
Making nest prematurely (or no) in that sweet land of by and by. 

To them, the greatest of the messengers, I give thanks.

                                                                                                  ~Delissa Payne

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm an Associate Producer...have your people call my God. :)

I am so, so, so excited about this movie being made.  And even happier that 4495 pulled together to make it happen.  I am one of them.  That makes me an Associate Producer of the film and boy am I proud to support it.  4495 is not a huge number in comparison to copies sold of the book, but last time I checked...God really knows His multiplication tables.  I luv that it took on such a creative, grassroots-style of financial support.  I can relate to the story of Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz.  Many of us can.  It helps us exhale in a world that was not meant for us.  Well, you know what I mean.
UPDATE: from the writer, director and the two guys that started the fund-raising movement 
through social-media.
Thank you.
30 days ago, we started a movement. An effort to collectively tell a better story. An effort to give back. An effort that, for the first time in history, funded a movie with donations from thousands of people. We started out with a goal of $125,000. The minimum amount to continue production of the movie. Within 10 days, we reached that goal, and moved forward to make history. Kickstarter is the largest crowdfunding website. Save Blue Like Jazz is officially the largest crowd funded creative project in American history. The previous record was set at $200,641. We hope that someone will break the record again, and feel the way we feel today. We will gladly pass the torch.

What happens now?
4495 of you have said ‘Yes’ that you wanted this movie to be made. That process starts tomorrow. Wednesday October 27th, filming will begin in Nashville, TN. We shoot in Nashville for 4 weeks then head to Portland later this year.
 Moving Forward
This funding effort was unconventional. It was different. It wasn’t the way we were used to seeing things done. We want the promotion of this movie to be the same way. Tomorrow, the same day that we begin filming, we will launch a new website at That will be the source for all things Blue Like Jazz. Our promise is that during the production process, promotional process, the theatrical and DVD process… we keep you in the loop. This is your movie. Prepare to be updated.

We can’t thank you enough for the amazing support you have shown. You have given people jobs. You have given people hope for a better generation of story tellers. You have told us an amazing story, now we will work as hard as we can to tell you one just as amazing.

Thank you for giving over the last 30 days. Today, we will start giving back.

-Don, Jonathan, Steve and Zach

Rocky Road

When I eat Rocky Road ice root-canal* on the right side of my mandible hurts from chomping all the nuts real good. 

So then I think to myself...who coined the term Rocky Road for such a comfort food.

 And beyond that thinking...(bc there's always a beyond that with me) what the hey was THAT person enduring at the time.

And then it made pretty with my day.  Often, this human experience gifts us with a suffering of sorts in order to direct us to true comfort.  And that comfort, after traversing the rocky road of the soul, is a life of spiritual surrender and indulgence in the unseen.

And now for a history lesson and proof that my thinking is not so strange after all.

FROM WIKI/Rocky Road ice cream:
The flavor was created in March 1929 by William Dreyer in Oakland, California when he cut up walnuts and marshmallows with his wife's sewing scissors and added them to his chocolate ice cream in a manner that reflected his partner Joseph Edy's chocolate candy creation incorporating walnuts and marshmallow pieces. Later, the walnuts would be replaced by pieces of toasted almond. After the Wall Street Crash of 1929, the company gave the flavor its current name "to give folks something to smile about in the midst of the Great Depression."
*I'm not even going to tell you why I chose a dentist that probably performed a root canal, when I didn't really need it. Ok, I'll tell you.  It was for the medication I heard he dispensed.  Now, isn't that just sad?  But to the One who saved me from's a sweet, sweet tooth of redemption.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Monday, September 6, 2010

She makes things.

Someone's beloved oil painting ended up at the Thrift Store.  SOLD $2.50

A yard of burlap.  SOLD $2.something


2-for-1 foam board.  SOLD $1.99

Instead of being in a wad in a recycled Ferrero Rocher box,
I now have a neatly organized accessory display mounted in my vanity.

Now I have to finish filling this one and start the other!
I come back with earrings from every place I travel.
Here's to having a third frame!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Things I Can't Get Over

grandma's love
snuffaluffagus' eyelashes
Van Morrison

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

For my brother, Rob

One for you:

Robby, adopted though you may be,
forever my brother in this grand monoply
of Love. 
You inspire me and raised the creative force in our family tree

You, the firstborn.  Taking the brunt of harsh needles of rejection into your thick skin.
The leader within awaiting its gin

When might your spirit yield a tonic glow beyond Boston (you know)
The nest that will forever be home. 
The spirits of the wise reside there.

You are a soldier at least.  Born not to flee,
pioneering your path
with the least of these.

Life of the hard Knox forced you into Grandma's capable arms.
Where you will forever be honored,
as the unique child of God you are.

 (Robert Knox and Delissa Jo at the homestead-Woodyfest 2010, brother and Christ)

And one for me

Come on, Lovers!  Arise and go forth!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tight-Lipped Tuesday


Saturday, July 31, 2010

Or not

By John Engman

    I wanted to be a rain salesman,
because rain makes the flowers grow,
but because of certain diversions and exhaustions,
certain limitations and refusals and runnings low,
because of chills and pressures, shaky prisms, big blows,
and apes climbing down from banana trees, and dinosaurs
weeping openly by glacial shores, and sunlight warming
the backsides of Adam and Eve in Eden...
                                        I am paid
to make the screen of my computer glow, radioactive
leakage bearing the song of the smart money muse:
this little bleep went to market, this little clunk has none.

    The woman who works the cubicle beside me has pretty knees
and smells of wild blossoms, but I am paid to work
my fingers up and down the keys, an almost sexy rhythm,
king of the chimpanzees picking fleas from his beloved.
I wanted to be a rain salesman , but that's a memory
I keep returning to my childhood for minor repairs:
the green sky cracking, then rain, and after,
those flowers growing faster than I can name them,
those flowers that fix me and and make me stare.

    I wanted to be a rain salesman,
carrying my satchel full of rain from door to door,
selling thunder, selling the way air feels after a downpour,
but there were no openings in the rain department,
and so they left me dying behind this desk-adding bleeps,
subtracting clunks-and I would give a bowl of wild blossoms,
some rain, and two shakes of my fist at the sky to be living.
Above my desk, lounging in a bed of brushstroke flowers,
a woman beckons from my cheap Modigliani print, and I know
by the way she gazes that she sees something beautiful
in me. She has green eyes. I am paid to ignore her.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Baby bird

Came across this blog today and the quote at the top is appropriate for my life today.

"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts most." ~Hope Floats

I had a dream last night that I drove by an orphan baby on a gravel road with flies on its nose and face.  Thankfully, I screeched to a halt and with bear-like aggression in my eyes, I warded off the predators with my innate fierceness to protect the vulnerable. 

There are so many vulnerable children in our world.  
This woman is doing something about it.

Then I woke up.  I took the dogs outside and they killed a baby bird.  Intestines hanging out and everything.  I had to shovel it up and throw it over the fence in the burial grounds.  But first, I had to stand-by and watch it die. It couldn't come quick enough.

In regard to the quote above, I have to remind myself of the hope that God gives, which does not disappoint (Romans 5:5).  He is our Alpha and our Omega.  Beginning and our end.  The creation named, Delissa, is snug in the middle of that.  Potter's clay.  Being worked into glory.  Lord, be pleased to quicken me.  Be pleased to stand by and watch me fade away.  Be pleased to watch me die to self.  This baby bird wants to fly.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Saturday, July 24, 2010


Update:  I got Bird!!  He snapped his fingers when he realized what had happened.  haha

Pun Nation

Ok, I found it impossible to resist.  Here goes...

My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the sea

Is there a soul out there that I beat to that?  Didn't think so.

piano e forte "soft and loud".....He whispers

So I was tooling around town with my li'l sis from Big Brothers, Big Sisters (plug:  do it!) yesterday and we decided to stop into the local mart of many good thrifts.  

But, before that, ALL morning I had wonderful memories traipsing through my head of piano this and that.   Stale memories, and a tickle of those to come, swung freely from consciousness in the cognitive outfield of my mind.  

Who can live without a piano?  The idea struck me in May on the way home from Memphis.  The excitement of a forgotten family piano nestled in a dusty over-sized nook was short-lived.  It took one phoner to kill that pipe-dream.  Ha!  Good luck there.  I did learn that my prized grandma played by ear, though.  So how cool is that?  Anyhoo, I knew I couldn't afford one, so I shelved the idea for a while. 

Then, on earth does someone stumble across this at the local thrift store, compliments of ol' lady Smith upgrading hers! 

My exposure to the piano is limited, besides my stint in grade school with the gifted and talented program (oh yes, I was!).  But it's going to take more than the daunting task of moving a 500lb musical pachyderm across the city to stop me.   

 I got myself a new instrument yesterday.  Sa-weet music to my elephant ears! 

Now my little man, Memphis, has more to howl at than my singing.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, anyone?  


Thursday, July 22, 2010

America's got talent...oh yes She does!

un) I don't know but I've been told, big-legged woman ain't got no soul.

deux) My Peace
~Woody Guthrie~

My peace my peace is all I’ve got that I can give to you
My peace is all I ever had that’s all I ever knew
I give my peace to green and black and red and white and blue
My peace my peace is all I’ve got that I can give to you

My peace, my peace is all I’ve got and all I've ever known
My peace is worth a thousand times more than anything I own
I pass my peace around and about ‘cross hands of every hue;
I guess my peace is justa ‘bout all I’ve got to give to you

trois) B.C.> and on an entirely ever still interesting note...Psalm 143

luvluv d-lish

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tight-lipped Tuesday


Monday, March 29, 2010

Preparing the Mind

Foods is not all I've been preparing, silly!

Each night, the Lord has shown me great and unsearchable things in his Word.  The sort that give you pause and a chance to exhale.

However, several weeks back I read a scripture from 1 Peter that my receptors instantly clung to and I memorized it on the spot.  I've been reciting it since.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

 I've been reciting it since.  Today, I thought to ask the Lord for Him to prepare my mind.  Seems obvious, but you takes some of us a while.  I have indications of why He is speaking this message to me.  To be revealed at a later date, though.  You'll just have to stay tuned.

Whoa, I just looked back at this passage to get the context and there is that word again: PROPHET

Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.
Let me just say, God has gone out, around, up and down to order my steps to intersect with this word over the last couple of days.  You know, Holy Spirit stuff.
Ok, Lord, I hear you louder and clearer...teach me more!!
(Jerusalem, 2005)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Past-a time

Delissa:  "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
Undeniable Pasta:  "Here I am!"

This dish of a handsome pairing of flavors had me at first bite.
 I call this new creation...

Noodles Need Love 
The Sauce:
Newman's Own Sockarooni
Boca Tomato, Basil, Parmesan Veggie Patty cut into pieces
Artichoke Hearts (tired of looking at the can in my pantry)
Pine Nuts (bc I had a spoonful left that I didn't want to toss)
Dash of Tobasco
Dash of Balsamic Vinegar
Gruyère Cheese Shavings
Sea Salt
Cracked Peppercorn

I've never told you this before, but I guess now is the time.
I come from the planet Yum.
Don't hate me or I might salt you and eat you next!

I've been craving vinegary stuff lately, so that's why the Balsamic.
It's amazing how well our bodies communicate with us.
My guess is that I need to drink more water.
Forty-five minutes after eating this, I ran two miles!
Now, I actually GET the whole concept of the "pasta parties" I have volunteered for pre-race nights.
The Couch to 5K program rocks!  I'm starting my 5th week of running.

                                     sunny-d (ooh...that actually sounds good)

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Salad Wars

Macy...upping the ante!

So here is my new favorite salad, made from throwing some leftover items together from my fridge.
I call it;
Hello Creativity,
Thank You Budget

Organic Mixed Greens
Smoked Salmon
Dried Cherries
Dried Cranberries
Honey Toasted Pecans
Black Peppercorn
Sea Salt

Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar

Yumfest had by all...all meaning every last tiny taste bud on my tongue.  
In fact, hail the taste buds!  
In fact, in fact...I deem this day  
International Taste Bud Appreciation Day.

Thank you, God!


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

By one Spirit in one Body- given one Spirit to drink

A large part of my day is spent in a place that just doesn't make a whole lot of spiritual sense to me.
It's almost* as if Christ is shelved;
and God won't let me alone about it.
Those that have claimed Christ far outnumber those that don't and the darkness of it all eats at me.
I'm learning to use my spiritual fog-lamps, though.
He is allowing me to peer through the muck and into the clearing.

This week the Spirit has been fanning my flame.

First, The Complete Green Letters book was placed in my chair on Monday morning.  This somewhat obscure book has been a great companion to me over the last few years unbeknownst to the person that placed it there.  God knew this would speak to me and give me the courage to do something He has been waiting on me to do for a very long time.  It was an amazing connect the dots moment. 

Then, today I had a spiritual conversation that was so precious to me.  A person has been struggling with some very, very difficult life issues and none of us had a clue.  I was so happy to be used by the Spirit and it served to build up my faith further.

God is asking to do some mighty scary things. I so want to be back in the place I used to be when I could firmly say that I had no real fears.  Soon.  I sense my prison walls crumbling!

Last night I fixed my eyes on 1 Corinthians 12

Here are the take a ways God illuminated for me: 
  • But in fact God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be.
  • those parts of the Body that seem to be weaker are indespinsable
  • AND the parts of the Body that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor
  • AND the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty
  • Its parts should have equal concern for each other

You are one great God!!!

*(my use of this word denotes fear..blah!)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Meal

The French know how to enjoy life through these little mound receptors on our tongues called taste-buds and last night this country girl met the Riviera in style. 

I was the honored recipient of artisan cooking. 

We sat at the table and enjoyed the bounty that God has provided. 
We toasted to diversity.
We laughed our heads off.
We read from the scriptures.

Herbes De Provence Crusted Chicken (spices and lavendar)
WITH a lemony, cream-based sauce
REAL Sauteed Mushrooms
AND a little blue cheese with a homemade French baguette!!!

Are you kidding me???
The answer is NO!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Resurrect Me

Today has been weighty in so many ways.  Why?  Because without God my focus becomes so narrow, bleak and highly uninteresting, which equals prison.  So tonight I come home to the Word of God that feeds my hunger that there is more to this existence.  And not in a booger-eater kindergarten sort of way, but more to the effect that we are floating on a rock in an expanding universe and can have an intimate relationship with Creator of said universe sort of way.  Don't make me name the ways in which I tried bridging the gap in my own power.  Nothing satisfies like Christ.  But then again, Christ has to come with revelation.  Anyhoo, I came home and opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 15 and here are the things that stood out:

  • you have taken your stand
  • hold firm or else it is in vain that you believe
  • some have fallen asleep
  • by the grace of God I am what I am
  • if Christ has not been raised, my faith is futile
The end.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Josh Garrels

To all of you, my friends, that are scared of entertaining strangers through music showed up on my doorstep via the community!  And the person bearing gifts, not even a believer in Christ, oh but Josh is!  You tell me, is the Trinity in control or are They not?  Is opening our lives contingent on fear or the unseen,- FAITH?  I encourage you to open your mind.  What will we say when we are standing before Him with crown(s) in hand.  You do not want to miss this life people.  Couchsurfing or not, lay down the fear, Christians.  Will you help me do the same?  I am working on some fears of my own and in His providence, as I step toward Him, He answers with freedom.  How great Thou art!!!

"The Stand" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New what and I am who?

Wanted to share these 7 questions from my pastor's blog:

Seven Questions to Answer
To Kick Start 2010

Sometimes questions are more important than answers.  Questions open up possibilities and challenge boundaries.  Over the next few days, let’s explore questions that may open the door of the New Year to be better prepared to get a running start in a good direction.

         1.      Above everything else, what do you believe that the Lord wants you to BE this year?

(Phil 3:13-14 ESV) Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it your own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
The reason that you need to focus on this question is that there is nothing more important than living in God’s will.  How can you know God’s will?  Focus on what kind of person God wants you to be instead of what He wants you to do.  When what you believe changes who you are then you will do the right things.  Write a list of characteristics that should describe your life.  For example, “God wants me to be faithful to Him, humble, and to be a servant to others.”   Make a list of three things that you know God wants you to be in 2010.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Pick three that will challenge you and require a lifestyle change
         2.      What is your single greatest strength?

(Jer 1:5 NASB)  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

(1 Cor 12:11 NASB)  “But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills.”
Many people focus on strengthening their weaknesses.  That’s fine but I believe that we must concentrate on strengthening our strengths.  I’m terrible at math; that is just the way that it has always been.  However, I’m pretty good at language.  That is the way that God made me.  In order for me to cooperate with His design, I need to sharpen the gifts that I’ve been given.  In 2010, I would like to focus on preaching better sermons and communicating the gospel more clearly.  I need to consider how to improve my strengths.  What can I do in 2010 to make the most of what God has given me?   

3.      What is the single biggest time-waster that you do?

4.      What one spiritual discipline (prayer, Bible study, serving, sacrificial giving, etc) do you need to improve?

5.      What humanly impossible yet needed thing is there in your life for you to trust God to solve?

6.      How can you save more money this year?

7.      What one person needs your encouragement the most this year. 

Spend some time in the next few days to consider your answers and ask God to show you how to make the most out of 2010.  We begin a new page in the journal of our lives as we enter a new year.  Pray for God to give you strength, grace, and wisdom.  Happy New Year. Hag 1:5 (ESV)
5Now, therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways.

2 Peter 3:18

Spend some time praying about your answers.  After the seventh question, we will connect your answers and make a plan for 2010. 

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